FAMILYVA program
Bereavement Counseling
Individual and group grief counseling through VA Vet Centers for surviving family members of servicemembers who died on active duty and families of veterans who die by suicide.
Step-by-step guide
Who Vet Centers offer grief counseling to
- A death on active dutyThe service member died while serving, or the Reservist or National Guard member died while on active duty.
- A surviving spouse, child, or parentVA.gov names the surviving spouse, child, and parent.
Source: VA.gov: bereavement counseling (opens in new tab); 38 CFR 17.2000(d) (opens in new tab); National Cemetery Administration: burial and memorial benefits (opens in new tab)
Who was your loved one?
- A service member who died on active duty
Vet Centers offer free bereavement counseling to the surviving spouse, child, or parent of a service member who died while serving, including a Reservist or National Guard member who died on active duty.
Source: VA.gov: bereavement counseling (opens in new tab); 38 CFR 17.2000(d) (opens in new tab)
- A veteran, including a death by suicide
Vet Centers also offer bereavement counseling to the surviving spouse, child, or parent of a veteran who was receiving Vet Center services when they died, or of a veteran or service member who died by suicide.
- A veteran who used a Vet Center, or a death by suicideThe veteran was receiving Vet Center services at the time of death, or the veteran or service member died by suicide.
- A surviving spouse, child, or parentThe same family members as for a death on active duty, above.
Source: VA.gov: bereavement counseling (opens in new tab); 38 CFR 17.2000(d) (opens in new tab); National Cemetery Administration: burial and memorial benefits (opens in new tab)
What to gather, and what it shows VA
| Document | What it shows | How VA gets it | Have it? |
|---|---|---|---|
| Marriage or birth certificate The record that connects you to the person who died. | That you are the surviving spouse, child, or parent | Keep a copy ready and ask the Vet Center whether it needs one. | Yes |
| DD214 or the service record of the person who died The discharge papers, or the military record of a death on active duty. | The service and the death on active duty | Keep a copy ready if the Vet Center asks. The DD214 is the usual proof of service, and VA can help get it with consent. | Yes |
| Vet Center record of the veteran The confidential record a Vet Center keeps when a veteran uses its services. | That the veteran was receiving Vet Center services | The Vet Center, part of VA, holds this record itself. There is nothing for you to send. |
Counseling is arranged directly with a Vet Center. BeneVets does not ask you to describe your loss or your health here.
Steps, in order
- Free help with other survivor benefits
Free help: an accredited VSO can file this with you. Find one near you in the BeneVets VSO directory at Find an accredited VSO near you. A VSO can also help with survivor benefits such as DIC.
Source: VA.gov: accredited representatives (opens in new tab); VA.gov: DIC for spouses, children, and parents (opens in new tab)
- Find a Vet Center
Find your nearest Vet Center with the VA.gov facility locator.
Source: VA.gov: find VA locations (opens in new tab); VA.gov: bereavement counseling (opens in new tab)
- Ask the Vet Center for bereavement counseling
Call or visit the Vet Center, or call the Vet Center number on VA.gov, open around the clock. Say you are asking about bereavement counseling.
- Choose how to meet
Counseling can be at the Vet Center, at another place you are comfortable, or by phone or video.
- In VA mental health care with the veteran? Ask the medical center
If you were in VA mental health services with the veteran before the death, and the death was unexpected or happened during VA hospice care, the VA medical center can also offer bereavement counseling for a limited period.
Good to know
Bereavement counseling includes outreach, counseling, and referrals at no cost. It happens at a community Vet Center, at another place you choose, or by phone or video.
Vet Centers sit apart from VA hospitals and keep confidential records, separate from other VA and Defense Department medical records.
Family members who were in VA mental health services with the veteran before an unexpected death, or during VA hospice care, can get bereavement counseling from the VA medical center for a limited period, up to 60 days unless the director extends it.
BeneVets is informational and is not an accredited representative. Free help: an accredited VSO can work through VA benefits with you at no cost. Find an accredited VSO near you
Sources checked October 7, 2026: 38 CFR 17.2000(b) (opens in new tab), 38 CFR 17.2000(d) (opens in new tab), 38 CFR 17.2000(e) (opens in new tab), 38 CFR 17.98(a) (opens in new tab), VA.gov: bereavement counseling (opens in new tab), VA.gov: find VA locations (opens in new tab), National Cemetery Administration: burial and memorial benefits (opens in new tab), VA.gov: request your military service records (opens in new tab), VA.gov: DIC for spouses, children, and parents (opens in new tab), VA.gov: accredited representatives (opens in new tab)